This Wellness Retreat Encourages Black Women to Embrace Their ‘Unruliness’ — Here’s What It Was Like

Cruising down Highway 288, the rhythm of the city and chaos of the roads interrupted what I’d hoped would be a peaceful precursor to the wellness retreat my partner and I were en route to. A cacophony of blaring horns and jolting thuds from unavoidable potholes made me deeply regret my decision to embark on this journey during Houston’s relentless rush hour. But, as we inched down the interstate and the familiar skyline began to shrink in my rearview mirror, I felt a shift.

The tension in my shoulders — that constant weight of deadlines and decisions waiting back home — started to soften. I set a quiet intention for the Unruly Wellness Retreat: to release, just for a while, the demands that always seem to trail behind me. With each mile, the sounds and stresses of the city faded, replaced by a growing sense of calm.

We drove 30 miles outside of Houston where serenity greeted us as we meandered along the windy, wooded driveway at The Woodlands Resort — a far cry from the hustle and bustle of the city. This was my first wellness retreat and I had no idea what to expect, but the peacefulness of the location was already a win in my book.

Founded by Shelah Marie, the Unruly Retreat is an extension of the Curvy, Curly, Conscious community and was curated as a safe space for Black women. Over the next three days, this cocoon became a sacred space where we could unfold, exhale — literally and figuratively — and unburden ourselves with the representatives and proverbial masks donned for the comfort of others.

Upon arrival, we checked into the sprawling resort and hurriedly made our way to our room to drop our bags before scurrying off to the welcome dinner. Houston traffic was not kind to us, and we were running behind schedule. But none of that mattered once we entered the inviting dining space, along with 30 or so other women.

The hosts handed out icebreaker cards, but they weren’t needed. Conversation flowed easily and there was a unique sense of openness around our table. There were no pretenses and no judgments — a theme that resonated throughout the retreat.

“Being ‘unruly’ is accepting all the aspects of who you are, not just the pretty ones,” Marie said, as we dove into our session the following morning. This workshop was crafted to help us explore and connect with the many versions of ourselves — our own “inner ensemble,” if you will. The goal? To recognize each member of that inner cast and guide them toward their highest potential.

“What would the aspirational version of you look like?” This is a question Marie had us not only reflect on but also embody that vision. I’d have gladly walked barefoot over Legos to avoid stepping into the spotlight, but watching the women before me — turning the room into their personal runway, each striding with confidence as they channeled their most empowered selves — stirred something in me. Their courage was contagious, and before I knew it, I found myself ready to join them, taking those first steps toward the version of me I’d only imagined.

The day ebbed and flowed between meditative moments, journaling, and exercises that led us to speak openly about crooked beliefs and societal pressures that have shaped — and sometimes distorted — our sense of self. Around the room, soul-stirring stories emerged, echoing themes of grief, “superwoman syndrome,” strained relationships, and lingering resentment. But the thread tying us all together was a familiar ache: the feeling of being everything to everyone else, yet somehow never enough for ourselves. As a recovering people-pleaser, this truth hit especially close to home. In that shared vulnerability, I realized I wasn’t alone — we were all here to reclaim the parts of ourselves we’d been giving away for far too long.

After a full day of interactive sessions and workshops, it was finally time to unwind over a margarita and guacamole-making contest. We split into teams to put our mixing and mashing skills to the test. I was confident. After all, I make guacamole weekly and I lived in Mexico for a while. Victory felt certain. Spoiler: we did not win. But even without the crown, it was the perfect, lighthearted way to wrap up the day.

The clock glowed at 5:47 am — so much for sleeping in. Our morning yoga session wasn’t until 7:00, but even with the early wake-up, I stayed cocooned in bed, holding out until 6:45 am finally nudged me to move. Outside, a thick fog hung over the grounds, and the crisp (well, 65-degree) morning air was a welcome reprieve from the usual Texas heat. We gathered on a deck overlooking the pond, and as we moved through each pose, the calm of nature settled over me, grounding me in the moment. It was the kind of morning that made you breathe a little deeper and linger just a bit longer in gratitude.

Another half-day of workshops and meditations ensued before we broke for some well-deserved free time. Many of us gathered by the pool, soaking in the sun and sharing laughs, allowing the day’s insights to settle. As evening approached, we reconvened for a lively country-themed dinner and after-party, where we danced the night away, the air filled with sheer, unabated joy and camaraderie. It was the perfect way to unwind and celebrate our shared experiences, creating memories, and cementing a sisterhood that would linger long after the retreat ended.

While much of the Unruly Retreat was filled with fun and laughter, parts of it were undeniably heavy, filled with raw, unfiltered emotion. People broke themselves wide open, sifting through feelings they’d long tucked away, sharing pieces of their stories that had rarely seen the light. It was a space of give and take, where we poured into each other as much as we were poured into. Tears flowed freely — sometimes in silence, sometimes with a chorus of comforting words — each one a release, a softening, a step closer to healing.

For me, the retreat affirmed just how far I’ve come on my own healing journey. I felt both grounded in my progress and inspired to keep going, knowing that healing is never linear, but always powerful when shared.